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lemanya: (Default)
1. Did you know I have zero RL friends on LJ? Talk about a secret life...

2. I'm working on some new stuff. But it's slow going. Which is related to...

3. My mind feels a little drugged lately. If I'm not tired/sleeping I'm either at Uni or working, so there's this permanent kind of state where I feel so out of it. My brain just isn't functioning, not even for the normal things- let alone creative things.

4. This semester, I'm taking three psychology classes and one Writing class. The level of talent in this class is very dubious (as was noted by a conversation with a classmate [who complimented my work when I read it out loud!]), and it's obvious that they've really come to learn stuff rather than have a bit of fun writing stuff. Which reminds me that I have to have a first draft done by the end of the week...

The assignment (1000 words, fiction) isn't due till the following week, but every class contains this element of 'workshopping', which basically we read out our work to the class. This week we're meant to have a draft finished, cause the entire two and a half hours of time is dedicated to an editing kind of workshop on each other's works.

Which reminds me. Should I post up the stuff I've written with the class?

5. I'm sick of meeting guys, particularly good looking guys, and finding out they've got girlfriends. And then there was those two memorable times that yes, they were gay, you may end all hope now.
lemanya: (S.A.M. 2000.)

What up eljay? Howz it bin hangin?

In the world of Music )
Secondly, I'm continuing with that abandoned meme :)

Meme! And pictures. )

Finally, come next week, I'm headed to the G.P for a referral.

the crap going on with me. )

And after all that I got two credits and two distinctions this semester for uni. That's usually what I get, and though I was kind of disappointed in one of my credits (I don't know where I went wrong with it), I'm pleasantly surprised that I got a distinction in a class for which I did not attend ANY lectures, and my highest mark was in my statistics class, which is the bane of most people's existence.

I think

Jun. 14th, 2010 03:21 am
lemanya: (Skins boys)
I may have finished a new story. This... is very very good. One, because its's been too long and *fist pump* I ACTUALLY FINISHED something recently and two, because now I can concentrate on my upcoming exam and not procrastinate any further (which is what I've been doing with writing this).

I'm excited for it. I was really proud of myself with it up until tonight, when I suddenly went "oh god, this is crap" but I think it's due to the fact I've been editing as I go, so I've reread it a thousand times over and the words have lost their touch. Anyway, later today (because it's three am) I'll do another edit on it, because I think the ending's still a little sketchy and so I should have it up tomorrow, which is awesome, because tomorrow is my birthday (this fact both pleases and somewhat terrifies me).

bee tee dub, I've been totally squeeing over big bangs. I've had to stop though because urgh, exams at the end of this week and through next week (what awful timing, I want to read fic! Not uni things!) but I've been in utter delight at what we've had so far, and can't wait for the rest of them.
lemanya: (don't read!!)

I have several favourite pasttimes. One of them is reading, another is writing (though we all know how that goes) and another- is bitching about my university until someone tells me to shut up.

I went to a lecture the other day. This isn't so much omgyouwenttoalecture??? because I generally do attend them, but I haven't had an honest to god proper lecture in like, four weeks due to holidays and public holidays and abrupt cancelling and staying home because I have an assignment due I should've started weeks ago, but didn't and hey! I can totally get the lecture notes off the internet (which I have not done. yet).

All of the above constitutes the following: why the hell am I going to uni? I'm surprised I'm getting good marks! Clearly, I'm naturally awesome.


I went to my lecture the other day, which was on perception. Normally I'm like yay, perception! because thinking about how what we perceive and how we perceive it creates our own reality yadayadayada it's all very philosophical and I lap it up like spilt chocolate milk on a clean sanitary surface. I love it. But at the moment, we have a guest lecturer for the rest of semester, who's a specialist on auditory perception, which is kinda cool, but he can't teach for crap. About halfway through yesterday's lecture, I gave up listening, and instead composed the following:


lemanya: (don't read!!)
-I have a new icon :D. It's actually two new icons, but the other one gets reserved for special occasions.

-I'm sick. It's half chest cold, half regular cold. My voice keeps coming in and out (which was hilarious in a works-in-a-restaurant situation) and my throat hurts- but not because it's a sore throat... it's because I'm ripping the flesh off my trachea every time I cough. At least I don't have a fever anymore.

-I have one essay (with minimum ten sources) due at the end of the week, a two hour multiple-choice exam I haven't really started studying for (I have, but I haven't) in two days and another assessment I need to gather notes for due SOMETIME in the next fortnight. I should double check on that. On top of that, Big Bang still needs to be written, or I'll be dropping out.

lemanya: (Default)
 I should post more happy posts. I kind of suck at having fun, but I should try.

So, here's a recap:
  • On the weekend, I got hit on. I think. Either that or he was gay, but I'm kinda hoping for the former. I was working a function at work- a 21st Birthday. And this guy- EXACTLY my type. Tall, and dorky and funny. Kept me smiling laughing all night.
  • Uni started up again. Oh shyzer. My timetable happens to be shotty, but the lecturer for my Statistics class is a good guy. Into the subject, knows what he's talking about, lively and bouncy- rambles on a little too much, but it's bearable. 
  • Uni also led to a different discovery- I have three freckles on the back of my left wrist. Sure, you're thinking. Freckles. But no! These are no ordinary freckles! They are in the shape of a triangle! More than that... they are in the shape of a RIGHT-ANGLE TRIANGLE. I am part geometrical wonder.
  • My best friend thinks this is the most amusing new she's heard all week. I think it's more amusing (in the cynical way though) that she moved in with her boyfriend and neglected to tell me. But I haven't told her that yet.
  • On the subject of freckles, it turns out I came back from Melbourne with around double the amount of freckles I had before. Considering I had over forty (yes, I counted them) before I left, sporadically around my body (sometimes in the strangest of places), to realise I now have over seventy is somewhat astounding.
  • I have BigBang research!!! Sure, I haven't written anything more, I'm still sitting on my 500 words (somebody punch me!), but I have my info, mostly- because my father thinks that he may have thrown out the bits that I actually need, and so I have started sorting and reading and getting ideas abut how to tackle it. It's exciting. I just have to get off the computer long enough to do something about it.


Nov. 9th, 2009 11:44 pm
lemanya: (Default)

So, I've been totally AWOL for the past three weeks. Nearly. Oops.
I've had a lot to do though.

Okay, so it's only been a little bit of uni stuff that transmorgifed into a lot because of procrastination. Don't look at me like that, I know perfectly well I fail at being a good student.

Anyways. I've been purposely avoiding anything that has to do with work, though the muse is still running rampant and fiction is still at a standstil. There's about three or four I've got going, all for the snapshot challenge, so less than a thousand words should be a piece of cake with a spoon attached but no. It isn't. It's hard. It's terrible writing, I can't help thinking I was an idiot with plot and whatnot but I can't start from scratch on them because otherwise they'll be little sentences of how much I suck.

So instead, I've been trying to put this onto a dvd. A Very Potter Musical. If you love Harry Potter, and have not seen it yet, do. For some reason, even with over 100 GB of space still on my computer, I apparently do "not have enough space" for 4 GB of video. *sigh* Ah well, I watch it over and over and cause giggles and learn the songs and have a romp.

Also, I've had the acoustic version of this song on repeat. I've totally fallen in love with it and play it any chance I get. Come on get higher by Matt Nathanson.

I'm considering an acting class for my elective next year at uni. It's been two years since I've been on stage and whatnot and it took me four years in the first place to totally let go and not care in front of my class- so I'm a little hesitant to sign up for it. I was planning on doing the play or musical or whatever that'll happen next year with the universities unofficial musical/revue group, but this is different.

Also, I'm considering next years SPN big bang. I kinda have an idea, but am terrified that I won't finish or it'll suck or whatever. I'm totally going to need my own therapist and cheer squad just to get me to sign up.

But I shall stop fretting. I will finish my two exams and sleep for a month and wake up and just do it.

Yes. that's exactly what will happen.
lemanya: (Default)

and it's now three fourty-five in the morning and I do not want to analyse ANOTHER image. I do not care about imagined communities and retarded t-shirt slogans and strange beer ads that make no sense at all. And yes, I should have done this days ago but it's stupid and I want to burn it.

*flips out*

I will do my essays in advance, I will do my essays in advance.... really, I will.

Okay, so, they're probably not gonna be done either until the night before. I still got two weeks to at least gather my sources!

On a brighter note, I have one... possibly two more completed spn snaphots. they will be up in the next few days. phew. I just cant seem to get anything together properly lately.

And on an even brighter note, I think I rocked the socks off of my English, Text and Writing class with my analysis of the fragmentary form of T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land. Claps for me.
lemanya: (Default)

Contemporary Society is the exam tomorrow. Jesus holy motherf*cking christ on a swizzle stick. I should be okay...

But as I was going through one set of notes (the tutorial questions) I noticed that I must have been having a bad day. Admittedly I did miss the lecture on purpose, so it was probably a lack of sleep that caused this. In response to the question:

Should we be divorced from the environment trying to control it or should we live within it?

I wrote:

'Live within it.

Go naked'.

Oh yeah, I'm acing this exam.


May. 28th, 2009 07:16 pm
lemanya: (Default)

so, yeah, it's a bit geeky and such, but it's the first assignment this year that i've received a really good mark.
90% on a Contemporary Society essay focusing on gender roles.

I... am awesome.

And if you haven't read David Almond's Skellig or Clay, do so... Clay in particular is brilliant.



Shameless self-promotion. Here be the essay. )
lemanya: (Default)
Woah, an RL update? Is this.... is this a blog post??? gasp!

Even I'm stunned but hey, blogging is like therapy. And since I'm actually too chicken to see a therapist or psychologist or counsellor LJ is the next best thing.

So, what happening with me?

University is slowly torturing me to death. I told myself I'd be good this year, get my assignments done nice and early and be social and well... hasn't happened. To my credit, the Uni system is shit. Nearly everything's done electronically with little instructions. It appears we're meant to magically know what to do and since they told us at the beggining of the year that everything we needed to know was in the learning guide, it seems kinda pointless to ask questions when the answers going to be "check the learning guide". WELL IT ISN'T IN THE FUCKING LEARNING GUIDE. It'd also be nice if you could remind us, the week before, that I have an essay due in seven days. Just courtesy to make sure that I hand it in, rather than staying silent and letting me find out the day before (It'd also help if you grouped the due dates of assignments together in the fecken guide, rather than space them out).

Uni rant over. Sometimes I think I should never have left the teaching course. I miss my friends from last year so much, things just aren't the same.

On another note, I'm pretty sure I'm depressed. Like, clinically. But since I find it really hard to talk to people it's difficult for me to get this confirmed. I'm terrified of telling my parents what I think. But lately my mood has been heading downwards again, and I don't want to land at rock bottom. I've been there before, and evidently survived, but I'm scared that if I let it go too far I might actually not bounce back up. I've started taking Cipramil. Not a lot, particularly since they aren't actually mine. They were my mother's from a few years ago but she stopped taking them after only a week and a bit because she felt odd, like she was more agressive. They didn't really work for her. So I've got almost a whole packet in the cupboard, and they're nowhere near their expiry date and so the past couple of days I've been taking them. I don't know if it's been working, because I'm not all that better, but I'm certainly no worse.

On a more exciting, thoroughly better note, I got word that channel ten has confirmed Supernatural is returning to air on May the 4th. yayz! here in Oz we've been severly deprived (it stopped airing two weeks before the US hiatus) having only seen up to 4.08- Wishful thinking. Mind you, this hasn't stopped me from downloading them off the net when they did come out, and so am completely up to date... but still, there have been concerns among the forums that Ten may have scrapped it and not told us. We were gettin a little angsty.

So I have this week off. I'm going to use it to catch up on psych tests, complusory to submit the final report, and writing. With luck, I may just complete one of my projects.

lemanya: (Default)

UWS has the most ridiculous enrolment system ever. It is impossible to figure out what to do... and they don't provide any help. "Easy" my arse. What a retard.

I'm only half enrolled, despite uni starting on Monday, because the system provides NO INFORMATION on what I'm supposed to be enrolling in! Grrrrr. Orientation is tomorrow, so I might ask. Probably not though, I'm too chicken to ask for help on something as menial as enrolment.

That, and they didn't even send a notification email telling me when tutorial registration opened, so I missed out on all the thursday classes... meaning the required lecture resides thursday morning and the corresponding tute on friday!. Fuck damn, pardon my french.

I want to strangle it, but it isn't corporeal. s;kjbgfnsjdhcbzsdf. hmph.

In other words, I'm feeling a little better this evening, despite the awfulness of last night and this morning.


Feb. 12th, 2009 10:50 pm
lemanya: (Default)

Lately it seems like I've been moving in tiny little circles without any indication of stopping.

Without Uni to preoccupy me (but even that was a cycle) I find my life revolving around two things: sleep and work. Things are becoming empty again and I'm sick of staring at the same four walls. Unfortunately, I need to work in order to get the money I would require to go away for the week. And with Uni starting up again soon it isn't going to happen until around my birthday. And won't that be bloody dandy when I disappear on my birthday.

But I'm beyond caring.

I suppose that isn't a good thing. I recognise the signs. I'm on the edge of another breakdown and really? It's overdue. It's been several months and that unusual for someone who needs to emotionally collapse every two months or so. It's a twisted way of dealing with things but it works for me. And hey, I'm still here.

So what's new for me? Pretty much nothing. Ive managed to get myself out of the house and a bit more into the social scene but it isn't helping. Going out means I don't work, hence no money to save up. Then there's the fact that even though I do love my high school friends, I'm not comfortable around them. I feel like I'm the little odd coloured block from one set of connect-a-blocks that has been accidentally placed in the wrong connect-a-block box. I'm still a connect-a-block... just the wrong type.

And the box I did belong in... I'm not going back to.

I dropped my course at Uni, where I was studying primary teaching (alonside international studies) and I'm hoping it wasn't a stupid thing to do. I feel like my mistake was taking the course in the first place. Even though I was interested in teaching, I can't see myself in a classroom for the rest of life and I doubt I'd be a good teacher anyway. Regerdless, the kids were great and very inspiring. But it's not me.  And in choosing that course, it was a last minute decision. I was thinking of doing forensic science, or psychology, but panicked and believed I wasn't smart enough. Avoiding possible disappointment, I went with teaching.

But now I've dropped it and am going to do psychology instead, which is great because I think this could be right for me... but I'm still terrified I'm not smart enough. Terrified it's a stupid dream and I'm not cut out for it. I don't know what I'll do otherwise.

I'm trying to get my writing projects finished up... but they're taking their sweet time forming. There is one I'm a bit excited about, but it's definently NOT ready for show. First I have to finish it. Then I can go through and edit. Then I can hope it's worthy.

Wow, this ended up being longer than I anticipated. Let me know if you'd like it behind a cut, I'll be happy to oblige. Otherwise it'll stay like this.


lemanya: (Default)

November 2016



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