My dearest Holly,

Today we packed up your things - your toys and blankets and bed, and my heart broke all over again.

It's been only two days since you unexpectedly passed, and tomorrow will mark the first morning that I wake up and you won't be sleeping curled up against me. I think it might be the hardest day I will face since losing you.

For those reading this, my much loved dog, Holly suffered a sudden major seizure on Friday evening and never recovered. She passed away in our arms shortly after. She would have been 17 in December and while we knew she wouldn't be with us much longer, she had never seized before and was responding incredibly well the the medication we had her on for renal failure. All signs pointed to a few more months, not a sudden loss.

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I'm thinking of going to the AHBL convention this year, partially because I promised myself I would if J2 ever came back to it, but I literally know no one in Aus/Sydney that is also going and my anxiety is skyrocketing at the thought of being by myself in a crowded convention.

So, flist, I would love it if you knew any awesomesauce people based in the Sydney area (or outside of it if they are going to the con anyway) I could get in touch with.

What up, flist? Loooooong time no speak.

As decided by the community, today is 'post something random in your journal day', as a way of saying this a community site, and we like it that way!

So without further ado, I announce that in less than two weeks time, I'm going overseas!!!! This is pretty big for me, I've only been interstate and never via plane, and I'm about to spend a month in several foreign countries. I won't lie, I'm freaking out just a touch *pulls out hair*.

I will be in London for a few days, meeting up with my sister who is about to end her living there for the past two years and then we're going on to Egypt, Italy and Greece.




I don't know how to end this. HAPPY RANDOM POST DAY!

Things that happened in the last however many months:

I dropped out of uni (accidentally, through a series of misunderstandings and me not being bothered to fix them), and I feel so much happier for it.

I'm working (technically casual, but it's like a 35-40 hour work week) as the front desk of a guest house in my local area. I'm also doubling as the manager-during-the-week. It's pretty awesome, and I love it for the most part, since I kinda really don't like other people.

I've moved out of home!!!!! For the first time in my life I am not living with my parents. It feels pretty great, because for a while there I was feeling like I couldn't live there any more. My parents and I get on great, but I really needed this move. I don't yet have internet at my new house, so I'm leeching off the work wifi when I can. I'm hoping that without internet, I may write a little more, rather than read all the time.

Got myself a new batch of friends, to replace the ones that seem to have forgotten I exist, and was once a friend.

And finally, and the main reason that I haven't written anything, posted, commented on stories or journal entries even though I've read them, is that for all I'm at my happiest and most content than I have been in a while, my mood is on a real down. Like, depression episode down. Zero motivation, want-to-be-on-happy-making-meds down. (Also, I didn't like my springfling submission [though thank you so much to the people who did like it!] so I haven't posted it here.)

It really, truly sucks. So it'll probably be a few months till you next hear from me (in fact, it'll probably be November, since I signed up for and shall resurface for reversebang again) because I'm still getting over my best friends abandoning me.

If you haven't seen it yet- GO NOW.

secretlytodream has done it again and made the most fantastic SPN video. Seriously, it's haunting and beautiful and perfectly cut together, contrasted beautifully with an almost monotonous spoken poem (2 poems actually).

It reminds you that beneath all the pain and despair and hurt, there's a heart and strength and love to the Winchesters that defies everything that is thrown at them.

VIDEO

I want to do bigbang this year. I've decided that I will sign up. but I haven't yet, because I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE WHAT TO WRITE.

I have been thinking about it non-stop, and nothing. Zilch.

So, I want prompts. Comment, or PM. Can be anything. Single words, sentences, quotes, pictures/art, plotpoints etc. If anything gets me going, that'll be my choice.

I am leaning towards RPF rather than SPN, just so you know.

Does anybody know if anyone's made any calendars for 2012. SPN/J2 themed, that is. I was keeping an eye out at the end of last year but didn't see any pop up.

If you know of any, point the way :D

So, I might only be like, 200 words in, but candygramme's Murder by Space is totally worth the rec. Really.

I mean I was planning on reccing it when I got to a hundred words in, but there's an Importance of Being Earnest reference being made, and I cracked.

It's like, space noir, only funnier. And with J2. So go, read. Now.

Both on my flist and not on it yet, Merry Christmas, and Season's Greetings. It's a little over two hours until Christmas day, and I'm half drunk and about to pass out thanks to my work Christmas party, but I hope you enjoy your holidays and welcome the New Year in with style!

And may 2012 not be the zombie apocalypse we're all expecting, but much more laid-back and easy going :)

Then again, a zombie apocalypse would save me from having to do stuff this year. Oh, mutated virus/end-of-the-world insanity, wherefore art thou?

(And yes, I'm well aware the apocalypse is happening at the end of 2012... doesn't mean I can't hope ;) )

MERRY CHRISTMAS GUYS.

Oh and finally, for those who were waiting on Christmas cards, I hope they got to you. I still haven't received anything, so I'm hoping that the kerfuffle of a 2010 posting issue isn't happening again.

Much love.