A friend with benefits is ideologically the best thing possible. This must be tested before proven though.
A sun roof in a car will allow the skydiver to drop straight in for kisses. Or, said skydiver will lie on roof of car and kisses can still occur though sunroof.
’Awesome’ is an emotion, an expression and a way of life.
If getting to the snow is particularly expensive, then room share. Bed share. Remember, it’s cold… you need the warmth of another person.
Ex-girlfriends are and always will be, completely psychotic. Avoid them.
Though they will be rather appealing.
Simon isn’t a stereotype, he creates his own category. He's also immortal.
You can charge like, $200 an hour if you’re a talented prostitute, but if you’re male you must be flexible in your services.
If you weren’t flexible, you would be relying on rich, single women, who are somehow so naturally gorgeous they’ll pick up their men at random bars without difficulty and thus do not have a single use for you or your expensive services.
You can make it to Melbourne for $60, but will need to become a prostitute in order to get accommodation, clothes, food and to get back to New South Wales.
The alternative is to sleep at a youth hostel, jump in a lake to wash the clothes you’re already wearing, eat at a soup kitchen and hitchhike back across the border.
Confidence is the key…to your face.
Stephanie always manages to use the slash button (/) at the most ridiculous of times. This seems to be unavoidable./
Smileys are metaphors for hardcore sex, particularly S&M.
If you patented a smiley, you wouldn’t need prostitution, cause you’d get money every time somebody used your smiley.
The government has put a mixture of marijuana and ecstasy (now known as ecstajuana) into the water supply and air conditioning units, so we get high when it either gets too hot… or when it rains.
The combination of marijuana and ecstasy could potentially kill an elephant.
You can create a pacman looking thing by using (*<.
It is possible, but hard, to talk while lip-locked. Thus, if you’re a chatterbox, don’t get into a relationship… or get really drunk with someone random. They know how to shut you up. It’ll destroy your self confidence.
More than 30 cans of coke provides a lot of stimulation. But not sexually, I don’t think…
There’s a lookout at the end of my road that would normally be reached by an hour-long bushwalk, but could potentially be reached by Simon crashing somebody else’s car through the bush.
Saying the phrase "animal noises" sounds incredibly kinky.
Posting things as bulletins on myspace past 11pm is somewhat useless, as nobody will really read it cause they’re all in bed- asleep… so it would be better to blog it.
Every time they talk, Simon will ask Stephanie when her birthday is. She will always reply with the correct birthday… 15th June. He claims to have a memory like a vault.
Yet he always forgets.